girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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