She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
