For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
