Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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