Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
