I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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