Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
