Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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