Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
