We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
