Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
literally had 100 drinks last night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
