I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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