she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
