She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
