Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
