the day after is always just damage control
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
