And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
