my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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