Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
