She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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