Me too!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
