id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
