16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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