i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
