Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't turn off my feet"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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