I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
