Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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