I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
