No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
