peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Everyone says I win the strip club
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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