well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
