I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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