perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
