I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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