We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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