Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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