hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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