The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
