Yo dont text me then not text me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
