just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
