just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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