it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
