let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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