And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
