I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
