His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
