Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
