who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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