question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Enjoy the penises
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
