Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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