Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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