Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
